It has been a fairly long time since I last wrote. I have had so much on my mind, and alas- I have too many ideas to benefit a written and cohesive readable commentary. Nonetheless life is good. It is amazing how life powers on, and takes turns to different paths. I always figured I would know the trials and turns my life would take. Almost like I could draw them on a path... seeing the twists and turns. Apparently it is not so.
I have started applying for different jobs. I need something that is closer to Provo... I just can't afford the drive anymore. Family is good... and Denver was amazing. I didn't take many pics but I caught up on years of sleep, and started relaxing more than I could believe.
Thought of the month: Are we as people able to maintain conflicting ideas all at once? I have found myself believing several different ideas, some completely conflicting with each other. The world now a days, claims such confliction's cannot be relevant to the other. That tolerance and love, by pass against freedom and judgement. I personally do not think that is true. I think we as humans have many capabilities to which can hold many emotions. I think we are capable of making sense of conflicting terms, and while they might not be explainable on paper or in words... I think they can be explainable in mind.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Sunday, July 7, 2013
We can all begin freely—a slight preference is natural enough"
Its been a long time since I have actually posted anything on my behalf. A lot has happened, a lot that I am very ashamed of. Grandpa Pyne passed away. I played the piano for his funeral. I sat with him and Grandma in the hospital and for the briefest of moments he remembered who I was. It was a special and great moment, and I hope I can always remember it.
Recently I put myself in a terrible predicament. I compromised nearly everything I have worked for in a single instant. I just wanted to feel numb, and I was already upset and grumpy so I did what I knew I could... and that was wrong. I am so grateful for the Atonement and the ability I have to fix all of my stupid mistakes. I knew what I wanted and what I should work for, and yet I still allowed myself to be completely weak and human. I must pick myself up though, and utilize this Atonement. Heavenly Father has placed people so many wonderful people in my way, I just need to learn as much as I can from them.
Other than that, I now have three jobs. I feel like a complete workaholic and to some extent I am ecstatic that I have the ability to work this hard. I need to decide what I am keeping and what I am not keeping. I need good influences, and sometimes I wonder on the influence of Porter's Place.
I am so grateful for my family and all the support they give me. I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for them!
Recently I put myself in a terrible predicament. I compromised nearly everything I have worked for in a single instant. I just wanted to feel numb, and I was already upset and grumpy so I did what I knew I could... and that was wrong. I am so grateful for the Atonement and the ability I have to fix all of my stupid mistakes. I knew what I wanted and what I should work for, and yet I still allowed myself to be completely weak and human. I must pick myself up though, and utilize this Atonement. Heavenly Father has placed people so many wonderful people in my way, I just need to learn as much as I can from them.
Other than that, I now have three jobs. I feel like a complete workaholic and to some extent I am ecstatic that I have the ability to work this hard. I need to decide what I am keeping and what I am not keeping. I need good influences, and sometimes I wonder on the influence of Porter's Place.
I am so grateful for my family and all the support they give me. I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for them!
Friday, July 5, 2013
Saturday, June 8, 2013
"There has been many a one, I fancy, overcome in the same way." Elizabeth
After a very long, slow, day at work I am taking the time to write my philosophical happenings. It really was quite a day.
My Boss, and owner of Porter's Place, talked about stories and the church today. We fumbled upon the subject after I asked him what he will do with the business after he is gone.. who will take over? His answer surprised me, since it wasn't so much about the money, the people, or the entertainment- but simply about a story, Porter Rockwell's story. He talked about the effort he wanted to take to preserve this story, the legacy of this church figure. Our little restaurant is almost the last outpost for the history, the little place of knowledge. In the midst of this little place of knowledge there are crevices and cracks. Fallacies, that lead to an almost incomplete glorification. For example, the night before Joseph Smith died he had a drink of wine. Porter, also, killed several men. In my mind this is all ok, they were human as well. Both figures were flawed in many of the same ways we are today.
And yet somehow, at the end of the day, they are glorified. Written in history books as great and noble men. They are perfect. But the facts as previously stated point otherwise. How does one reconcile both observations and facts into one coherent idea?
This led me to think of my testimony. Many times we hear over the pulpit and in classrooms that Joseph Smith was a true prophet. That he restored the Church, that he was noble and select. All these things are true, yet I think the connotation behind them is not, especially over the pulpit. It's not so much that Joseph Smith was great as much as it is the fact that he restored God's church. That GOD had the power and the ability to use Joseph to accomplish his works. I guess in my mind I had always heard it as a direct compliment to Joseph, when in reality the flawed Joseph was never the beneficiary.
In context, flaws are a complete part of human temperament. They are present in the absence of true Heaven. I guess when this hit me, I started thinking of all the worried and squimish decisions I have been trying to make lately. How over and over again I have been trying to make choice that are more about me then they are about God. You see, I realized it doesn't matter which decision I make as long as the decision leaves me the ability to serve God. I am flawed and there is no possible decision I can make that would lift me up when it comes to only my glory. NOT ONE. I need God, and through that, no matter what, it will all work out.
This attempted blog post is pretty much a complete failure, but to me it makes sense.
My Boss, and owner of Porter's Place, talked about stories and the church today. We fumbled upon the subject after I asked him what he will do with the business after he is gone.. who will take over? His answer surprised me, since it wasn't so much about the money, the people, or the entertainment- but simply about a story, Porter Rockwell's story. He talked about the effort he wanted to take to preserve this story, the legacy of this church figure. Our little restaurant is almost the last outpost for the history, the little place of knowledge. In the midst of this little place of knowledge there are crevices and cracks. Fallacies, that lead to an almost incomplete glorification. For example, the night before Joseph Smith died he had a drink of wine. Porter, also, killed several men. In my mind this is all ok, they were human as well. Both figures were flawed in many of the same ways we are today.
This led me to think of my testimony. Many times we hear over the pulpit and in classrooms that Joseph Smith was a true prophet. That he restored the Church, that he was noble and select. All these things are true, yet I think the connotation behind them is not, especially over the pulpit. It's not so much that Joseph Smith was great as much as it is the fact that he restored God's church. That GOD had the power and the ability to use Joseph to accomplish his works. I guess in my mind I had always heard it as a direct compliment to Joseph, when in reality the flawed Joseph was never the beneficiary.
In context, flaws are a complete part of human temperament. They are present in the absence of true Heaven. I guess when this hit me, I started thinking of all the worried and squimish decisions I have been trying to make lately. How over and over again I have been trying to make choice that are more about me then they are about God. You see, I realized it doesn't matter which decision I make as long as the decision leaves me the ability to serve God. I am flawed and there is no possible decision I can make that would lift me up when it comes to only my glory. NOT ONE. I need God, and through that, no matter what, it will all work out.
This attempted blog post is pretty much a complete failure, but to me it makes sense.
Monday, June 3, 2013
“And what am I to do on the occasion? -- It seems an hopeless business.”
Sorry it has been so long! I have been spending my time writing my missionaries instead of blogging. It hasn't helped that life has been so crazy, but thats ok since I love the busy-ness. My calling is great, and it keeps me really busy. I always feel like I could do more, but trying to not fail out of statistics, organ, and IHUM while working two jobs doesn't exactly pan out to being the easiest.
I have been doing a lot of thinking on compatibility (hence the quote for today). I realized as I was up at the Cabin that there only needs to be a couple of major differences to lead to failing relationships. I also realized that due to random chance (or maybe not so random) that no one can really gage what is going on inside. For example, I feel like I am a complete train wreck. I feel bamboozeled and silly, and yet guys still seem to flirt and ask me on dates. WHY? I feel like I have a big sign written on my head screaming-- "I'm a complete basket case! Can't you see???"
I only have a couple more weeks before spring semester is over. It can't come quick enough if you ask me. I just have to survive. Come this fall I will be a senior! I have been looking at my opportunities to expand my resume and get me into grad school (I don't think my grades are going to cut it..). Thus, as soon as class ends I am going to go volunteer at the museum behind the Riv. I also think I am going to sign a contract at the Riv. I really want to room with Julie, but I don't think we can both find a place that works for both of us, its sad but it will be ok. I am going to try and talk to the manager at the Riv. and see if I can get an RA job to cut down rent costs. Three jobs might be a little much.. we will see. I am also going to apply to the Washington Seminar because the humanities program has a freaking awesome scholarship to go. I figure why not?
My parents are going to Seattle soon and I am bummed out that I cannot go. If only they were going one week later. ONE WEEK! I have not been feeling good as of late, I'm not really sure why, but I keep getting nasty headaches and have a hard time eating. Hopefully it will mellow out the less stress I encounter.
I found this picture on pinterest with the quote attached, "You can live on the front row, or the third row, it is your choice."
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
"I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty women can bestow."
I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. I have been discovering myself all over again and the idea is quite pleasant. I actually like myself! Life is busy and full- just the way I like it. I have been trying to balance all of my time between work and school and it has been going fairly well.
I have discovered the poet T.S. Elliot. His writing is like a sun in a dark room- it is enchanting. Even though he was just a normal person his writing takes me places I dare not try to describe. It takes me on a whirlwind of ideas- too complex to write in a simple blog post.
In other news I had somewhat of a car scare- finding out I had no brakes. I was suspicious at first, but for now I think we are just going to say it is an accident- the car is old, and whatever coincidences that lend themselves to the situation are just that-coincidences. On Sunday, for Mother's Day, we went to Grandma Bates house. Some of us got food poisoning. I was one of those casualties. I think my roommates think I am bulimic, due to not being able to keep food down for the last month. I guess I am finally at my completely ideal weight-so thats a plus, although baggy clothes aren't too flattering..
I have started finalizing my future plans, I love having plans. Everyday I wake up and rejoice that I have the chance to love me- everyone else is just a whimsical fancy against my awakening odds. If only they knew what they were missing over here. HA! (Please read my sarcasm in the thickest way possible). My new calling is wonderful and I am so grateful to serve in the Lord's church.
I have discovered the poet T.S. Elliot. His writing is like a sun in a dark room- it is enchanting. Even though he was just a normal person his writing takes me places I dare not try to describe. It takes me on a whirlwind of ideas- too complex to write in a simple blog post.
In other news I had somewhat of a car scare- finding out I had no brakes. I was suspicious at first, but for now I think we are just going to say it is an accident- the car is old, and whatever coincidences that lend themselves to the situation are just that-coincidences. On Sunday, for Mother's Day, we went to Grandma Bates house. Some of us got food poisoning. I was one of those casualties. I think my roommates think I am bulimic, due to not being able to keep food down for the last month. I guess I am finally at my completely ideal weight-so thats a plus, although baggy clothes aren't too flattering..
I have started finalizing my future plans, I love having plans. Everyday I wake up and rejoice that I have the chance to love me- everyone else is just a whimsical fancy against my awakening odds. If only they knew what they were missing over here. HA! (Please read my sarcasm in the thickest way possible). My new calling is wonderful and I am so grateful to serve in the Lord's church.
Friday, May 10, 2013
And you are never to stir out of doors till you can prove that you have spent ten minutes of every day in a rational manner.”
Life has been so good lately. I have managed to make myself so busy and justify it in the most wonderful manner. Being busy is such a rational function. I have been really busy with organ and my callings. We are having an opening social on Saturday and there is a lot to do to prepare. On Sunday I am almost running sacrament meeting-or so it feels. I am playing organ, doing a musical number, AND talking in church. It doesn't get much better than that!
Work has been going great. I am constantly going and making money and I love that, who doesn't? I trained a new girl at Porters last night, before I went to see the Great Gatsby with my parents. The movie was really good, but it was a little odd. I still liked it. Bob asked me to pick up a couple of shifts later on this month and I told him I could do it. The more money I make this summer the better my life will be in the fall and winter.
I have been looking into traveling opportunites lately both academically and a "I need to take a break now"ally. I think I might do an internship next summer but we will see. I don't know if I will do it through BYU. I am still looking at every possible opportunity.
My best friend- Marcie, left on her mission Wednesday. I already miss her. I know it isn't a permanent goodbye, but it still is a little sad. But life goes on. I know that is where she is suppose to be.
Work has been going great. I am constantly going and making money and I love that, who doesn't? I trained a new girl at Porters last night, before I went to see the Great Gatsby with my parents. The movie was really good, but it was a little odd. I still liked it. Bob asked me to pick up a couple of shifts later on this month and I told him I could do it. The more money I make this summer the better my life will be in the fall and winter.
I have been looking into traveling opportunites lately both academically and a "I need to take a break now"ally. I think I might do an internship next summer but we will see. I don't know if I will do it through BYU. I am still looking at every possible opportunity.
My best friend- Marcie, left on her mission Wednesday. I already miss her. I know it isn't a permanent goodbye, but it still is a little sad. But life goes on. I know that is where she is suppose to be.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
“In nine cases out of ten a woman had better show more affection than she feels.”
Connection... connecting.. you know, the act of feeling at one with other people? Ya. I am missing that. I don't know when I first noticed it was missing, or when exactly I came to the realization. Maybe it was due to the fact I failed to be able to make any conversation with other people, it seems that wonderful ability I previously held has left me- I pray temporarily. The art really isn't too complicated is it? You ask questions, endless questions... people love to talk about themselves and that is always the best way to go, but yet, I find myself lacking the ability or want to inquire best a hello. I just don't have anything to say~ but I do want to make friends. So maybe I just need to give it my all... more more more! So grateful for this Sunday. In other news- I have meant to post this song forever, so here it is. I love the beat- best beat EVA!
Friday, May 3, 2013
“No- I cannot talk of books in a ballroom; my head is always full of something else.”
My head truly is full these days. Life it seems, is in a constant state of change and I am trying to do everything in my power to stay caught up. My best friend leaves soon, and I must confess I am sad to see her go. But this is life isn't it? We grow, we learn, we fail, we succeed etc. etc. and somehow in the midst of everything we determine ourselves to be okay. I am doing okay. I wake up every morning and try to pack as much academia and other desires (which have previously been deemed acceptable) into my day. As of late I practice organ for two to three hours, jam a couple of hours of work in there, and attend class. Boring- I know, but yet I feel slightly intrigued with my current status of life. It is simple yet flawlessly classy in a way. It describes me in a few sentences.
Worry has seemed to encapsulate me however, and everything under the sun has seemed to invade my line of defenses. BREATHE! Grad school and timetables among everything have seemed to plague me, and I find it to be completely exhausting and ridiculous.
In other news, I have yet to find an acceptable third job, so it seems I shall continue the lackluster search for a couple more days, months, years.... I had the most interesting and yet terrible encounter over FB, which was odd indeed. Thus, the quote I love this week, Every adversity every failure, every heartache carries with it the see on an equal or greater benefit." Napoleon Hill
Worry has seemed to encapsulate me however, and everything under the sun has seemed to invade my line of defenses. BREATHE! Grad school and timetables among everything have seemed to plague me, and I find it to be completely exhausting and ridiculous.
In other news, I have yet to find an acceptable third job, so it seems I shall continue the lackluster search for a couple more days, months, years.... I had the most interesting and yet terrible encounter over FB, which was odd indeed. Thus, the quote I love this week, Every adversity every failure, every heartache carries with it the see on an equal or greater benefit." Napoleon Hill
Sunday, April 28, 2013
“I am all astonishment.” Mr. Bennett
Today has been a whirlwind of a day. Not only did I go from place to place, but during it all I definitely felt the spirit so strong!
I started of my day curling my hair at o'dark thirty. I have been pinteresting lately and looking for new ways to do my hair, but yet I am too scared to actually follow through with anything I have seen- so I struck to my old ways of curling. I then drove to Lehi to listen to a good friends farewell. He is a complete sweetheart and has always influenced me for the better. The sacrament meeting was amazing and I did end up becoming a little teary eyed. Although I have seen my friends start leaving I guess this farewell was a little bit sad because everyone is back in Lehi while I am here in Provo, but that is okay because that is life. It comes and the future always looks to be bright.
Because I have moved apartments I wanted to go to my church back in Provo which didn't start until 11, just to meet the few new people (everyone else moves in Monday so next week so I will know if I have new roommates by then). On my drive down I received a call asking to play the piano for sacrament meeting. I admit it was hard to come up with songs off the top of my head, and so I went with the first numbers that came to mind. The actually playing wasn't too great, due to the lack of a visible conductor and my first experience actually playing for so many people.
The rest of church was amazing and really spiritual. I felt the spirit so strong. After church I had a meeting with the Bishop and the councilors. I have received a couple new callings and I am excited for the possibilities and challenges the following months can and will bring. My meeting with the Bishop was always good, and I admit I left feeling much better about everything. As of late I have been feeling so down and unworthy, and Satan has just been pounding me with all my insecurities. I went to the temple and decided the best person to see was my Bishop to help me feel better. Upon entering the room it was determined I would receive a Priesthood blessing. As the Bishopric laid their hands upon my head I felt completely safe, whole, and like me again.
After retuning home and being locked out of my apartment due to misinformation from management, I finally had some time to sit down and think about my day. I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints is true. "I am all astonishment." The Gospel has done so much for me and I am eternally grateful. Without the church's guiding hands I would fall to the dark world and not be able to stand. So today I am all amazed. I am all astonishment. The church is everything and more!
I started of my day curling my hair at o'dark thirty. I have been pinteresting lately and looking for new ways to do my hair, but yet I am too scared to actually follow through with anything I have seen- so I struck to my old ways of curling. I then drove to Lehi to listen to a good friends farewell. He is a complete sweetheart and has always influenced me for the better. The sacrament meeting was amazing and I did end up becoming a little teary eyed. Although I have seen my friends start leaving I guess this farewell was a little bit sad because everyone is back in Lehi while I am here in Provo, but that is okay because that is life. It comes and the future always looks to be bright.
Because I have moved apartments I wanted to go to my church back in Provo which didn't start until 11, just to meet the few new people (everyone else moves in Monday so next week so I will know if I have new roommates by then). On my drive down I received a call asking to play the piano for sacrament meeting. I admit it was hard to come up with songs off the top of my head, and so I went with the first numbers that came to mind. The actually playing wasn't too great, due to the lack of a visible conductor and my first experience actually playing for so many people.
The rest of church was amazing and really spiritual. I felt the spirit so strong. After church I had a meeting with the Bishop and the councilors. I have received a couple new callings and I am excited for the possibilities and challenges the following months can and will bring. My meeting with the Bishop was always good, and I admit I left feeling much better about everything. As of late I have been feeling so down and unworthy, and Satan has just been pounding me with all my insecurities. I went to the temple and decided the best person to see was my Bishop to help me feel better. Upon entering the room it was determined I would receive a Priesthood blessing. As the Bishopric laid their hands upon my head I felt completely safe, whole, and like me again.
After retuning home and being locked out of my apartment due to misinformation from management, I finally had some time to sit down and think about my day. I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints is true. "I am all astonishment." The Gospel has done so much for me and I am eternally grateful. Without the church's guiding hands I would fall to the dark world and not be able to stand. So today I am all amazed. I am all astonishment. The church is everything and more!
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
“Every savage can dance.” Lizzie
As one chapter closes, it seems another one opens. The ideas of the future seem to penetrate every dark crack within the crevices of my mind. I am excited beyond belief. I feel like a little girl again to some extent, although one with the ideas and dreams of Thoreau to live deliberately. I have loved this semester in almost every possible way. The days and classes have given me a better idea of who I am and what I want to be. I feel as if the rays of knowledge are suddenly encapsulating me to be more and to see more.
So why the dance quote? Movement. This is why! I have been trying to understand the concept of living in the physical form. As humans we beat, tick, and gasp against the world around us. Every moment one of our muscles move, we tick on without a second thought and the miraculous workings of the body. I guess I am so grateful for the ability to move and the ability to learn. This semester has given me the opportunity to be more grateful for everything around me. I am so glad I made the decision to go to BYU. It really has changed my life.
In other news I have decided I will be throwing a Tea Party, Mormon style- which means less tea and more lemonade, but its the thought that counts. I am thinking big hats, big dresses, and maybe even gloves. Optional buy in for sandwiches? Either way I plan on it being worthwhile.
I don't know what the future holds, but I can't wait to dance into its potential.
So why the dance quote? Movement. This is why! I have been trying to understand the concept of living in the physical form. As humans we beat, tick, and gasp against the world around us. Every moment one of our muscles move, we tick on without a second thought and the miraculous workings of the body. I guess I am so grateful for the ability to move and the ability to learn. This semester has given me the opportunity to be more grateful for everything around me. I am so glad I made the decision to go to BYU. It really has changed my life.
In other news I have decided I will be throwing a Tea Party, Mormon style- which means less tea and more lemonade, but its the thought that counts. I am thinking big hats, big dresses, and maybe even gloves. Optional buy in for sandwiches? Either way I plan on it being worthwhile.
I don't know what the future holds, but I can't wait to dance into its potential.
Friday, April 12, 2013
“I must learn to be content with being happier than I deserve.”
And so it is. I am so grateful for the opportunities I have to learn and grow and the ability I have to be resilient. It has been a long long time since I have been mortified... But you know what? That's ok. I remember how much I love me- and how much I deserve. I am trying my best to be my best and I wouldn't have it any other way. The ability to give my all to things has always been a wonderful quality and I am most grateful to have it not fail me now.
Always remember that Heavenly Father cares. He is mindful of your needs and pain. He will carry you through any physical, spiritual, or emotional trial you have. I testify of this as I suffer the stomach flu amongst other crappy things . Trust in him and it will all work out. It will be ok.
Always remember that Heavenly Father cares. He is mindful of your needs and pain. He will carry you through any physical, spiritual, or emotional trial you have. I testify of this as I suffer the stomach flu amongst other crappy things . Trust in him and it will all work out. It will be ok.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
“I do not wish to avoid the walk. The distance is nothing when one has a motive.”
My motive right now is strictly California. California. California. I can't wait to feel the sand on my feet and the sun in my hair. I really want/need this vacation, and I am bound and determine to have a wonderful time!
My life has been wonderful as of late, although things are not necessary the fairytale- there are a lot of similarities which I couldn't be more please about! I am currently failing out of economics, but I am not upset. It happens. I am just going to give it my all and hope that it works out.
While I was driving home from my parents on Sunday I couldn't help feeling like I was on top of the world, nothing could stop me! It has been a long time since I have strictly felt that way and I was glad to have the feeling again as my companion.
In other news... I am still undecided on what classes I will be taking in the future.
My days are filled with some of the best people. I am so blessed.
My life has been wonderful as of late, although things are not necessary the fairytale- there are a lot of similarities which I couldn't be more please about! I am currently failing out of economics, but I am not upset. It happens. I am just going to give it my all and hope that it works out.
While I was driving home from my parents on Sunday I couldn't help feeling like I was on top of the world, nothing could stop me! It has been a long time since I have strictly felt that way and I was glad to have the feeling again as my companion.
In other news... I am still undecided on what classes I will be taking in the future.
My days are filled with some of the best people. I am so blessed.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
“Upon the whole, therefore, she found, what has been sometimes found before, that an event to which she had looked forward with impatient desire, did not in taking place, bring all the satisfaction she had promised herself. "
So life continues on. A lot of big changes are coming my way and I can't help but feel a large and unsuspecting gap starting to protrude from my expectations and what I would like to have happen. I do not know if this stems from complete confusion or complete indiscretion. There are ups and lows in everyone's life, but right now I feel a particular low.
I have everything to be grateful for, God has definitely been merciful to me! Yet I feel sad and hurt by specific instances, and this leaves me feeling worthless and alone. This is why Sundays are so great... all these feelings are corrected and balled up to the fact the Savior has felt all of this before. Today, I felt the spirit as I listened to my sweet cousin talk for her mission farewell. I have noticed and decided that the confusion I feel, the craziness and the unsuspecting ideas are all made right when one is in touch with the spirit.
In other news, I have two tests this week-Econ and Poli Sci. I think I hate Econ. I think I despise it more than anyone knows, but I know that it is in some ways making me a better person. (Emphases on the SOME.) Working two jobs really is as crazy as everyone says it is...but I desperately want to keep both to put more and more money in the bank; I do not know what the future holds, but I know the more money I have saved, the more secure I will be.
My goals for the year, while not being particularly enduring, have been gradually worked on and maybe even destroyed (i.e. workout). I try to walk fast to school, but alas I don't think I should count that as a workout. I am learning photoshop and taking more pictures of everything, this really helps just getting the exposure. As for cooking it is a constant work in progress. I am first trying to enjoy cooking, and believe it or not I am starting to enjoy parts of it! I may not be making gourmet meals but at least I don't despise the whole process every time I go to cook something. Maybe cooking for two helps this, I just feel bad that I have to subject the +1 to my terribleness.
Life is life, I live it... trying to find small ways to love it and be Positive everyday.
I have everything to be grateful for, God has definitely been merciful to me! Yet I feel sad and hurt by specific instances, and this leaves me feeling worthless and alone. This is why Sundays are so great... all these feelings are corrected and balled up to the fact the Savior has felt all of this before. Today, I felt the spirit as I listened to my sweet cousin talk for her mission farewell. I have noticed and decided that the confusion I feel, the craziness and the unsuspecting ideas are all made right when one is in touch with the spirit.
In other news, I have two tests this week-Econ and Poli Sci. I think I hate Econ. I think I despise it more than anyone knows, but I know that it is in some ways making me a better person. (Emphases on the SOME.) Working two jobs really is as crazy as everyone says it is...but I desperately want to keep both to put more and more money in the bank; I do not know what the future holds, but I know the more money I have saved, the more secure I will be.
My goals for the year, while not being particularly enduring, have been gradually worked on and maybe even destroyed (i.e. workout). I try to walk fast to school, but alas I don't think I should count that as a workout. I am learning photoshop and taking more pictures of everything, this really helps just getting the exposure. As for cooking it is a constant work in progress. I am first trying to enjoy cooking, and believe it or not I am starting to enjoy parts of it! I may not be making gourmet meals but at least I don't despise the whole process every time I go to cook something. Maybe cooking for two helps this, I just feel bad that I have to subject the +1 to my terribleness.
Life is life, I live it... trying to find small ways to love it and be Positive everyday.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
They were in fact very fine ladies; not deficient in good humour when they were pleased, nor in the power of making themselves agreeable when they chose it, but proud and conceited.
I sometimes wonder the perception people grasp from me. Are there some people out there who are certain of my disposition, such as Elizabeth was in this last quote? My first thought would be yes, for my parents know about me the most... or so I would first think. My second and third thought struck at "significant others" and "best friends." Significant others, especially in our culture tend to be quite close to each other. They claim to know the person they are sitting next to: how many ice cubes they like, the colors they despise, etc. etc. So does this equate to a complete knowledge of the other person?
I know I would personally like to see myself as hard working, diligent, and maybe sometimes humorous. I would like to think of myself as a vast complexity of knowledge and emotion, a mind based on beauty and light... but is this reflected in my disposition? And if it isn't, does that mean I am made up of more the things people perceive me to be or do they simply don't know me?
To some extent I think it is impossible to really know the person, your family, best friend, or significant other... I mean we have all heard the horror story of gruesome murder of the sweet newlywed wife by her husband or vice versa. Did these people really know each other? Maybe they thought they did... but obviously they were grasping at straws and missing the bigger point that their significant other was of violent disposition-really violent.
So if other people can never truly know us, does this mean we should make decision based on our own conscience and what we want ourselves to be? Or do they really know us and we should take their advice as liquid gold because they know the true me?
I think God must of created the idea as a combination of both, the sweet tension between the unknown and the known. Either way, it makes me wonder if my tension is imbalanced... and if it is what do I do to fix it.
These thoughts make my mind conjures up one song... Right Where It Belongs by Nine Inch Nails. So perfect for the concept, are you looking in at someone else, or is everyone looking out the glass of their own personal life?
See the animal in his cage that you built
Are you sure what side you're on?
Better not look him too closely in the eye
Are you sure what side of the glass you are on?
See the safety of the life you have built
Everything where it belongs
Feel the hollowness inside of your heart
And it's all
Right where it belongs
[Chorus:]
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you want it to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks?
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?
What if all the world's inside of your head
Just creations of your own?
Your devils and your gods
All the living and the dead
And you're really all alone?
You can live in this illusion
You can choose to believe
You keep looking but you can't find the woods
While you're hiding in the trees
[Chorus:]
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you used to know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you want it to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?
I know I would personally like to see myself as hard working, diligent, and maybe sometimes humorous. I would like to think of myself as a vast complexity of knowledge and emotion, a mind based on beauty and light... but is this reflected in my disposition? And if it isn't, does that mean I am made up of more the things people perceive me to be or do they simply don't know me?
To some extent I think it is impossible to really know the person, your family, best friend, or significant other... I mean we have all heard the horror story of gruesome murder of the sweet newlywed wife by her husband or vice versa. Did these people really know each other? Maybe they thought they did... but obviously they were grasping at straws and missing the bigger point that their significant other was of violent disposition-really violent.
So if other people can never truly know us, does this mean we should make decision based on our own conscience and what we want ourselves to be? Or do they really know us and we should take their advice as liquid gold because they know the true me?
I think God must of created the idea as a combination of both, the sweet tension between the unknown and the known. Either way, it makes me wonder if my tension is imbalanced... and if it is what do I do to fix it.
These thoughts make my mind conjures up one song... Right Where It Belongs by Nine Inch Nails. So perfect for the concept, are you looking in at someone else, or is everyone looking out the glass of their own personal life?
See the animal in his cage that you built
Are you sure what side you're on?
Better not look him too closely in the eye
Are you sure what side of the glass you are on?
See the safety of the life you have built
Everything where it belongs
Feel the hollowness inside of your heart
And it's all
Right where it belongs
[Chorus:]
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you want it to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks?
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?
What if all the world's inside of your head
Just creations of your own?
Your devils and your gods
All the living and the dead
And you're really all alone?
You can live in this illusion
You can choose to believe
You keep looking but you can't find the woods
While you're hiding in the trees
[Chorus:]
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you used to know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you want it to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
“Had Elizabeth been able to encounter his eye, she might have seen how well the expression of heartfelt delight, diffused over his face, became him; but, though she could not look, she could listen, and he told her of feelings, which, in proving of what importance she was to him, made his affection every moment more valuable.” Jane Austin
Life is so wonderful. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about what it means to be close to someone, what it means to value time and many other things. After such thoughts I am positive Life is complicated. There are no bright answers, I just know that the relationships I have in my life should be more valuable...not in a romantic kind of way, but in make an effort kind of way. (See every P+P moment has some type of insight!)
In other news I have been learning more about cooking every day. It is a really terrible work in progress, but a work in progress nonetheless. I have no clue what the next few years have in store for me, but I really hope it involves better cooking!
I have been volunteering at the TRC. I have seen a lot of friends and the spirit I have felt is incredible.
Classes are classes. I am trying to be above average. Trying. :)
Family is great! I miss them and love them. I just bought a ticket to fly out and see them over Easter weekend, where my parents will be vacationing with Max. I am excited to go to the beach again.
So grateful for my Testimony and the Gospel in my life. TTFN.
In other news I have been learning more about cooking every day. It is a really terrible work in progress, but a work in progress nonetheless. I have no clue what the next few years have in store for me, but I really hope it involves better cooking!
I have been volunteering at the TRC. I have seen a lot of friends and the spirit I have felt is incredible.
Classes are classes. I am trying to be above average. Trying. :)
Family is great! I miss them and love them. I just bought a ticket to fly out and see them over Easter weekend, where my parents will be vacationing with Max. I am excited to go to the beach again.
So grateful for my Testimony and the Gospel in my life. TTFN.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
“Yes, you know enough of my frankness to believe me capable of that. After abusing you so abominably to your face, I could have no scruple in abusing you to all your relations.” -Elizabeth Bennet
Yes I am capable of managing my life! I have been so busy lately, and life seems to be really teetering on a precarious balance of spiritual, physical, emotional, not to mention knowledge (school). Balancing things is not always the easiest. I received a priesthood blessing earlier in the week to help balance everything, and The Lord's help was incredibly beneficial. I am so grateful to have the gospel in my life!
In other news I am officially in a super awesome relationship! I feel so happy all the time. I almost feel like it is too good to be true! For Valentines day we went to the ballet, as well as the ward Valentines day party. It was a two day valentines day. Something I would definitely approve of for all future couples! Our relationship is really funny, it seems to be a constant emotional abusive battle of knowledge and mind games, but for some reason it seems to make us smile more than anything else.
I am always trying to keep up with this new college thing. It is a unique experience, and different from my high school years. Keeping good grades isn't always the easiest, like it was before, but I am determined to do my best not to mention try my best. I am mostly struggling with the test taking and the performance, since HW doesn't really matter anymore. If I can just average above 85% my life would be good.
My friends are so awesome and so strong. I am so grateful for their influence, especially my roommate Julie! She is always there for me and I am so glad I have been able to be friends with her!
Hope everyone has a good three day weekend. Loves!
In other news I am officially in a super awesome relationship! I feel so happy all the time. I almost feel like it is too good to be true! For Valentines day we went to the ballet, as well as the ward Valentines day party. It was a two day valentines day. Something I would definitely approve of for all future couples! Our relationship is really funny, it seems to be a constant emotional abusive battle of knowledge and mind games, but for some reason it seems to make us smile more than anything else.
I am always trying to keep up with this new college thing. It is a unique experience, and different from my high school years. Keeping good grades isn't always the easiest, like it was before, but I am determined to do my best not to mention try my best. I am mostly struggling with the test taking and the performance, since HW doesn't really matter anymore. If I can just average above 85% my life would be good.
My friends are so awesome and so strong. I am so grateful for their influence, especially my roommate Julie! She is always there for me and I am so glad I have been able to be friends with her!
Hope everyone has a good three day weekend. Loves!
Monday, February 4, 2013
"No one who has ever seen you together can doubt his affection. "
My life has been wonderful. Brilliantly so. It is breath taking. I never thought life could take me the places I am currently living. Every night I go to bed so happy. I don't know where life will take me, but I am excited to see the turns.
Everything is changing in a slowly but surely "revolution." Old friends are moving on, some of my once called best friends. This change is disheartening, but change is valuable in many forms, sometimes you just have to look for the joy in the journey.
My new job is wonderful, it keeps me on my feet, but I am really starting to enjoy it! Classes are superb. Who knows if I will get A's, hopefully I do. I loved being an A student. Church is interesting. I have a new calling and it is good.
Can't wait to see what the future brings and where life takes me.
Shout out to my best friend (we will see if she sees this!). She is going to be such a good missionary, she goes through the temple this week. I know the people of Washington will be blessed to have her.
Everything is changing in a slowly but surely "revolution." Old friends are moving on, some of my once called best friends. This change is disheartening, but change is valuable in many forms, sometimes you just have to look for the joy in the journey.
My new job is wonderful, it keeps me on my feet, but I am really starting to enjoy it! Classes are superb. Who knows if I will get A's, hopefully I do. I loved being an A student. Church is interesting. I have a new calling and it is good.
Can't wait to see what the future brings and where life takes me.
Shout out to my best friend (we will see if she sees this!). She is going to be such a good missionary, she goes through the temple this week. I know the people of Washington will be blessed to have her.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
"For what do we live, but to make sport of our neighbors and laught at them in our turn." -Mr. Bennett
I love laughing. I love how happy it makes me; but most of all I love laughing with other people. Life has been good and busy lately, but it has been remarkably good and I know laughter has a wonderful role in making that come to pass.
My new job keeps me on my feet and I think that for the most part it is always worth it to be busy. The snow has come in abundance as of late, and I couldn't be more happy. I am somewhat worried about driving back and forth to Porter's, but it should be ok.
In Mission Prep we had a wonderful lecture about Journal writing and reading to make oneself a better person. I know I have a lot of faults that I need to work on and I really need to be better about extracting those faults so my future "person" can see me for what I am trying to be.
I am confused though. Big life decisions seem to linger in the back of my head and I have such contradictory evidence as to not find either choices as guilty. Maybe its time I just stop thinking and worry about such ideals and be myself? Good advice, I think.
So excited for Valentines Day. I had a really great bright idea that I am excited to put into action. We will see how it goes.
For now, I encourage you all to take a laugh. Maybe not at your neighbors, but most definitely with someone you love.
My new job keeps me on my feet and I think that for the most part it is always worth it to be busy. The snow has come in abundance as of late, and I couldn't be more happy. I am somewhat worried about driving back and forth to Porter's, but it should be ok.
In Mission Prep we had a wonderful lecture about Journal writing and reading to make oneself a better person. I know I have a lot of faults that I need to work on and I really need to be better about extracting those faults so my future "person" can see me for what I am trying to be.
I am confused though. Big life decisions seem to linger in the back of my head and I have such contradictory evidence as to not find either choices as guilty. Maybe its time I just stop thinking and worry about such ideals and be myself? Good advice, I think.
So excited for Valentines Day. I had a really great bright idea that I am excited to put into action. We will see how it goes.
For now, I encourage you all to take a laugh. Maybe not at your neighbors, but most definitely with someone you love.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
I never could be so happy as you. Till I have your disposition, your goodness, I never can have your happiness. No, no, let me shift for myself." Mr. Darcy
I feel so much better than I did Sunday. Maybe it was the adoption, maybe it was just my feelings, but nonetheless I feel better.
It is official, Gary has adopted me and I have taken his last name to signify he is my father. My parents laugh a little, for I chose to also keep my other name-Bates, making my full name Jessa Christine Bates-Pyne. I love it. It shows everything about me. Every syllable represents so many different memories. Old ones and new ones that have yet to be made. Only one more name to go before I will stop changing my name... one more!
In other news I started my new job this week. I am grateful to be on such a wonderful team. Heavenly Father has most definitely blessed me. Monday was a free day, and I went Snow shoeing with my best friend. He is so good to me, how he is in my life still I fail to see, but as long as he is being helplessly foolish I won't inform him!
I am slightly worried about balancing everything. And about next year... what about scholarships, what about money, what about mission? I suppose I am just in the same boat as everyone else around this time... classes have set in and I am ready to be done... ALREADY.
Lately it has been hard to feel anything. I do not know why this is. Some months or periods of my life I feel so much. Right now I do not feel anything, no severe ups or downs. I like and I do not like. Emotions over change or love cease to make me want to do anything. I do not know if this is complacency or just a period of my life I hope it is neither. The ability to feel has always been when I have strengthened my testimony. I have always heard that you are either loosing your testimony or gaining it, I do not know where I am at. I feel like I am doing everything right, so maybe it is that I am gaining it but not realizing it? Something I will have to think about I suppose.
P.S.: what a great quote from P+P
It is official, Gary has adopted me and I have taken his last name to signify he is my father. My parents laugh a little, for I chose to also keep my other name-Bates, making my full name Jessa Christine Bates-Pyne. I love it. It shows everything about me. Every syllable represents so many different memories. Old ones and new ones that have yet to be made. Only one more name to go before I will stop changing my name... one more!
In other news I started my new job this week. I am grateful to be on such a wonderful team. Heavenly Father has most definitely blessed me. Monday was a free day, and I went Snow shoeing with my best friend. He is so good to me, how he is in my life still I fail to see, but as long as he is being helplessly foolish I won't inform him!
I am slightly worried about balancing everything. And about next year... what about scholarships, what about money, what about mission? I suppose I am just in the same boat as everyone else around this time... classes have set in and I am ready to be done... ALREADY.
Lately it has been hard to feel anything. I do not know why this is. Some months or periods of my life I feel so much. Right now I do not feel anything, no severe ups or downs. I like and I do not like. Emotions over change or love cease to make me want to do anything. I do not know if this is complacency or just a period of my life I hope it is neither. The ability to feel has always been when I have strengthened my testimony. I have always heard that you are either loosing your testimony or gaining it, I do not know where I am at. I feel like I am doing everything right, so maybe it is that I am gaining it but not realizing it? Something I will have to think about I suppose.
P.S.: what a great quote from P+P
Sunday, January 20, 2013
“How despicably I have acted!" she cried; "I, who have prided myself on my discernment." -Lizzie
I have had such a great day, I was busy to be sure... but my day was good. Then it hit me. I was suddenly blatantly and completely upset. My emotional swing was dramatic within itself. I felt crazy. Not in a good way. I wonder if other girls feel this way, a sudden mind altering change that has you walking away from the people you enjoy.
“How despicably I have acted!"I feel lost but lost with a purpose. Maybe I am just nervous about what is to come. I have been blessed beyond belief, but I worry that my new schedule might leave me to suddenly give less to the things currently in my life. Will things stay the same if I am not making a 300% effort?
Hard to say..."I, who have prided myself on my discernment" have found myself wondering if I have made any wise decisions as of late.
In other news all of my friends received their mission calls! My best friend is going to Washington. I am so proud of her and her willingness to serve. Her influence has made a grand impression upon my life and I strive to be more faithful like her.
Family is good, and roommates are wonderful like usual. I have a new roommate, Gema.. she is wonderful and bright. Her smile brightens my day!
I really am so blessed to have the Gospel in my life. I have not been hard on myself lately about getting into a good place. I know with surety I need to be better. What I am giving is simply not good enough, and the left over needs to be better! Hopefully balance will come again, and I can dispel these terrible feelings!
“How despicably I have acted!"I feel lost but lost with a purpose. Maybe I am just nervous about what is to come. I have been blessed beyond belief, but I worry that my new schedule might leave me to suddenly give less to the things currently in my life. Will things stay the same if I am not making a 300% effort?
Hard to say..."I, who have prided myself on my discernment" have found myself wondering if I have made any wise decisions as of late.
In other news all of my friends received their mission calls! My best friend is going to Washington. I am so proud of her and her willingness to serve. Her influence has made a grand impression upon my life and I strive to be more faithful like her.
Family is good, and roommates are wonderful like usual. I have a new roommate, Gema.. she is wonderful and bright. Her smile brightens my day!
I really am so blessed to have the Gospel in my life. I have not been hard on myself lately about getting into a good place. I know with surety I need to be better. What I am giving is simply not good enough, and the left over needs to be better! Hopefully balance will come again, and I can dispel these terrible feelings!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
“A girl likes to be crossed a little in love now and then. It is something to think of” -Mr. Bennett
Crossed in love? Maybe not. Revolutionizing the positive thought process and creating wonderfully happy days for myself? Yes! Life has been so good to me lately, I am so surprised and grateful to have the Gospel in my life, every day it makes me feel so safe and happy. So grateful to know the truth and going to a school where everyone else does to!
It is amazing how people come into your life and suddenly make everything else seem dull in comparison. I have noticed this with my best friends, whenever I am around them I feel like the whole world has reawakened and my spirit is swollen with pure delight. They are so wonderful to me! My roommates (I just got a new one, her name is Gema, she is so sweet!) are the best. They always make me smile, especially Julie when she wants "Julie-Jessa time." Lydia is someone I can always count on, I have classes with her this semester and it is a pure delight to have her as a companion by my side. Last but not least is my "new best friend," He is so awesome. I want to grow up to be big and strong like him someday! My family is also so supportive... This is the picture we texted on all morning. Only people like us find the true humor involved:
My classes are going pretty good, the real test will be staying awake for my Poli Sci class. It is a wonderful class but unfortunately falls right after lunch, leaving me in a warm room with perfectly content feelings.
So glad to be in such a great place!
It is amazing how people come into your life and suddenly make everything else seem dull in comparison. I have noticed this with my best friends, whenever I am around them I feel like the whole world has reawakened and my spirit is swollen with pure delight. They are so wonderful to me! My roommates (I just got a new one, her name is Gema, she is so sweet!) are the best. They always make me smile, especially Julie when she wants "Julie-Jessa time." Lydia is someone I can always count on, I have classes with her this semester and it is a pure delight to have her as a companion by my side. Last but not least is my "new best friend," He is so awesome. I want to grow up to be big and strong like him someday! My family is also so supportive... This is the picture we texted on all morning. Only people like us find the true humor involved:
My classes are going pretty good, the real test will be staying awake for my Poli Sci class. It is a wonderful class but unfortunately falls right after lunch, leaving me in a warm room with perfectly content feelings.
So glad to be in such a great place!
Friday, January 11, 2013
"Keep your breath to cool your porridge and I will keep mine to swell my song." -Lizzie
School is here and it is here to stay. Life has been fantastic! Last night I played a wonderful game of kissing rugby. The scenario was indescribable and quite funny... Ask me about it some day, for I do not think I can even go through with writing about it. I have grown to love the majority of my classes (even for so short a time). There are only two that I only semi don't enjoy... ECON and POLY SCI. The latter is a surprise, since I do love politics, I just don't care for everyone else's opinion. I guess I have some of my own ethnocentrism, but seriously keep your breath for you porridge...
In other news I have a job interview today for a public relations/ comms job. It will be an interesting interview considering I applied in late November. So come what may. I dropped my law lecture series class, it was completely boring and needed more work then I cared to put in. Besides, I have been exploring other wonderful options. I found a masters programs for book archivests, especially law archivests. I can't think of anything that sounds more perfect. I await my next few years and I am excited to see where the Lord will take me.
Lately I have been very..... social? I am trying to be a nice person, you know, one of those people who isn't fake. I worry that I come off to intimidating, and I loose opportunities to befriend those who are quieter. I want to have connections with people that way, if the Lord needs me, I am there. I am so grateful to have a spiritual center.
Hope life is good for everyone out there. The form of blogs only allows me a brief amount of words and insight into who and where my blog is being read, but I pray whoever is reading it is having a good day.
In other news I have a job interview today for a public relations/ comms job. It will be an interesting interview considering I applied in late November. So come what may. I dropped my law lecture series class, it was completely boring and needed more work then I cared to put in. Besides, I have been exploring other wonderful options. I found a masters programs for book archivests, especially law archivests. I can't think of anything that sounds more perfect. I await my next few years and I am excited to see where the Lord will take me.
Lately I have been very..... social? I am trying to be a nice person, you know, one of those people who isn't fake. I worry that I come off to intimidating, and I loose opportunities to befriend those who are quieter. I want to have connections with people that way, if the Lord needs me, I am there. I am so grateful to have a spiritual center.
Hope life is good for everyone out there. The form of blogs only allows me a brief amount of words and insight into who and where my blog is being read, but I pray whoever is reading it is having a good day.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
"We were all there, dear." -Mr. Bennett
School has started and classes seem to be looking pretty great. I will be busy! It will be nice since I thrive under busy. I have had a lot on my mind, and I keep reminding myself that no one wants to hear my inter-monologue, after all " we were all there." And that sums up the end of that.
I had a super awesome experience last night where I felt the Holy Ghost so strongly. It is not simply enough to feel the spirit, but to give way to let it guide and dictate. Even when an answer is given that you do not necessarily like. So grateful for the church in my life and the blessings it brings to me.
I have been trying to cook more, to produce something that doesn't give food poisoning. I think I did alright last night, still not completely a success, but maybe by some means I am getting to that point?
It is incredibly cold in Provo and it can't stop reminding me of childhood memories of Heber all those years ago. I remember playing endlessly in the snow, the snow being as deep as I was tall! What happy memories and wonderful feelings were felt that made my world. I especially remember building snow forts at school, the likes of which I thought could never be brought down. Snow also represented an increased book selection since some recesses were too cold to play. I think this is where my love of books started!
I have a new calling. SHHH! It's not official but I am glad to be in the service once again. It gives me a reason to ask for more blessings.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
People do not *die* of colds. - Mrs. Bennett
I am starting to grasp the root of this concept. School is starting and I want nothing more than to succeed, to have an easy semester and not have any trials. That is a little too much to ask for, I think. The only reason I bring this up was due to my day at Church. Church was awesome. In R.S we listened to the Bishop who talked on trials, specifically how there will be parts of one's life that seem unbearable, but that Christ has paid the ultimate sin and covers all of our fears. This made me think, worry really, that my new trial is coming. That it is time for me to learn once again. But it is ok, I know it will all work out!
I did not end up getting the job. That's ok. It just proves that the guy upstairs knows more about my future plans then I do. In other news I am so happy to be in Provo.
Good luck to everyone who starts school and has new beginnings!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Oreo Cookies!
What I am making today... not exactly exemplary vegetables but who cares!
1 (18 oz) box Devils Food Cake mix
2 eggs
1/2 c. Vegetable Oil
Preheat oven to 350
degrees. In large bowl, mix together all of the ingredients; it will
form a thick dough. Roll dough into 2 inch balls and place onto an
un-greased cookie sheet. (If you think it's too sticky, just refrigerate
for about 30 minutes). Gently press down on dough to flatten
slightly. Bake for 8-9 minutes. (They won't seem done, but they are!)
Remove from oven and let completely cool on the cookie sheet.
CREAM CHEESE FILLING
4 oz Cream Cheese, softened
2 Tb. Butter, softened
1/2 Tsp. Vanilla
2 c. Powdered Sugar
In a medium bowl, beat
together the cream cheese, butter and vanilla with a hand mixer until
well mixed. Slowly beat in the powdered sugar until smooth.
Frost one oreo with desired amount of filling, top with a second cookie.
Store cookies in an air-tight container in the refrigerator.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
“It's been many years since I had such an exemplary vegetable.” -Mr. Collins
I find out tomorrow at the job I applied for. If I do get the job I will be mixing my schedule around and picking up a couple of law classes. This fills me with many confusing feelings for I very much so want to do law, but alas I know not how it will fit into my future plans. We will see I guess!
My break has been packed with wonderful family time, which is good since we go to court on the 23rd for the adoption. For New Years we went to my grandmothers in Heber. The drive down the canyon was amazing! That canyon will always have a place in my heart. Biff came and did some fireworks for us afterwords which was pretty cool!
I have some New Years resolutions... who knows if I will stick to them but I sure want to try!
1. Learn how to be a better cook... make an effort! Pretty much any effort past my usual will be a win.
2. Learn more about photography. I would love to read a book, or simply just learn about the elements of it.
3. Work out once a week. YES ONCE. I am in college! This will be challenge enough i think.
2012 has been a wonderful year for my testimony and my Love for the Gospel. So grateful that one person paid the ultimate price to get to know me. Where ever life takes me, I pray I can be an instrument in his hands.
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