They were in fact very fine ladies; not deficient in good humour when they were pleased, nor in the power of making themselves agreeable when they chose it, but proud and conceited.

I sometimes wonder the perception people grasp from me. Are there some people out there who are certain of my disposition, such as Elizabeth was in this last quote? My first thought would be yes, for my parents know about me the most... or so I would first think. My second and third thought struck at "significant others" and "best friends." Significant others, especially in our culture tend to be quite close to each other. They claim to know the person they are sitting next to: how many ice cubes they like, the colors they despise, etc. etc. So does this equate to a complete knowledge of the other person?

I know I would personally like to see myself as hard working, diligent, and maybe sometimes humorous. I would like to think of myself as a vast complexity of knowledge and emotion, a mind based on beauty and light... but is this reflected in my disposition? And if it isn't, does that mean I am made up of more the things people perceive me to be or do they simply don't know me?

To some extent I think it is impossible to really know the person, your family, best friend, or significant other... I mean we have all heard the horror story of gruesome murder of the sweet newlywed wife by her husband or vice versa. Did these people really know each other? Maybe they thought they did... but obviously they were grasping at straws and missing the bigger point that their significant other was of violent disposition-really violent.

So if other people can never truly know us, does this mean we should make decision based on our own conscience and what we want ourselves to be? Or do they really know us and we should take their advice as liquid gold because they know the true me?

I think God must of created the idea as a combination of both, the sweet tension between the unknown and the known. Either way, it makes me wonder if my tension is imbalanced... and if it is what do I do to fix it.

These thoughts make my mind conjures up one song... Right Where It Belongs by Nine Inch Nails. So perfect for the concept, are you looking in at someone else, or is everyone looking out the glass of their own personal life?

See the animal in his cage that you built
Are you sure what side you're on?
Better not look him too closely in the eye
Are you sure what side of the glass you are on?
See the safety of the life you have built
Everything where it belongs
Feel the hollowness inside of your heart
And it's all
Right where it belongs

[Chorus:]
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you want it to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks?
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?

What if all the world's inside of your head
Just creations of your own?
Your devils and your gods
All the living and the dead
And you're really all alone?
You can live in this illusion
You can choose to believe
You keep looking but you can't find the woods
While you're hiding in the trees

[Chorus:]
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you used to know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you want it to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?