“I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine.”- E. Bennett

I have an interview tomorrow.. and my pride is a little bit mortified.  I have never been interviewed for any job ever... I always just networked in, it was easier that way!  But now I have an interview and I am (slightly) freaking out.   A normal reaction I suppose.

Christmas was wonderful.  Like usual the night before we went to Grandma Pyne's for Christmas Eve.  We received very cute pajamas.  I woke up the next morning at 8 am.  My parents said it was a Christmas miracle, finally I woke up after 6!  This year I got new scriptures, a pink pig calender, Dr. Dre MIXR headphones (I know I am sooo spoiled), a new camera, a hand knitted afghan from my grandmother, as well as a gold necklace. So grateful to spend time with my family! 

Tonight we are continuing another tradition, going to Lion House Cafeteria up in SLC and walking around Temple Square.  It will be really cold but the food is always worth it.  Other than that life has been super great.  I count down the days until I have to wake up early (shudder, cough, grimace), amongst other count downs.  Sunday can't come quick enough.

Wish me luck on my interview....

"I have suspected it some time, but I am now convinced.”-E. Bennett 

Tonight I went to my Mother's Boss's work party.  It was a family party, well kinda, except for the drinks (there were lots ok?) but it was actually a good party (kinda). I was able to catch up with an old friend, it was good.

Something I finally realized,"I had suspected it for some time but now I am convinced."  The final quality of myself, a huge understatement of a part of my life, something I could have/never understood.   I figured it out.  Well kinda (hahaha).

I have always wanted an adventure.  I was always torn between the life I wanted to live and the life I was probably going to live/ the most women in my culture live.  I have wanted to give everything to my kids, but have a part of me.  I battled with how I would do this.  And I figured it out.  I don't have to sacrifice to live that way,  I just need to marry someone who wants that to.  Who wants to give everything to our kids by being the best us, by waiting... years maybe.  By traveling, by being dirt poor to go to school, by sacrificing sleep to be healthy.  I have never thought of it that way, I have always thought if I married within the culture I would suffer this, but it is not so.  Maybe it is a little sad that I am just figuring that out now, but its settled.  I want an adventure and I want to be me.  Whether that be with someone or not so be it.  I shouldn't be so hung up and displaced on everything.  Good ephiphany.

In other news my face is still bruised and swollen.  Maybe by some miracle I will look normal for pictures on Christmas.  Life has been seamless, still even.  Virtually peaceful (except for work).  So grateful to have family around Christmas.

“Nobody can tell what I suffer! But it is always so. Those who do not complain are never pitied." -Elizabeth Bennett

Well, my wisdom teeth are all out.  Unfortunately this quote is not sufficiently true, since everyone can tell what I am suffering due to my fat swollen cheek.  But overall it wasn't too terrible of an experience. 

Christmas is right around the corner! I am so excited to get out and experience it.  This year I think I finally am starting to grasp the true point of Christmas, and how much my family gives me.  This makes me think of all the people who are missing from my life, those who I do not constantly see, and makes me realize I need to make more of an effort to visit them or talk to them.

Other than that, my life is wonderfully quiet right now. I work only 14 hours this week, so I plan on driving to see other parts of the family with my time off.  I started writing my book.  It has been in my head for so long, I think it is about time that it came out on paper.  Maybe only in sections, but at least there is some head way being made.  I have yet to receive a new Church calling, but I am pretty positive it will be in FHE. 

Big plans for next week consist of going to Temple Square and the Lion House (YUM!), going to the Cabin... and oh ya... Christmas!

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.-Elizabeth Bennett

I just got back from my wonderful friend Katie Palmer's wedding in Mesa.  I went with some wonderful friends and had a wonderful time (Ok, ok, I will lay off the word wonderful because it is SO wonderfully being overused).It was interesting doing something by myself with no supervision.  Yay, for being an adult.

In other news, school is over... and finals are done.  It is wonderful to have the time and the ability to decide for myself what I will be spending my time on.  I rented the Count of Monte Cristo from the Library, the extended version... I'm sure it will be done within the week. I didn't get to go to church to day and I was somewhat sad... Sundays are just so different without Church.

I am trying to figure out my work schedule for the next couple of weeks, I want to be with my family as much as possible! Going to college has made me realize how much I appreciate them and everything they do for me.  This puts the Christmas spirit so much more into my soul.  So glad to be home (even if my Momma is a teaser!). 

The school shootings were so tragic.  They break my heart.  What kind of world do we live in?  It makes me sad to think of the potential the world has to be evil, and the place the world could be when I have children. But then I check Pinterest (hahaha please laugh at this first world reference) and read about all the good out there.  People helping in the seams of the quilt of the world, many times unnoticed but greatly appreciated. I pray I can be one of those stitches in somebodies quilt.  I can't think of another way to bring so much joy into my life. 

“Mary wished to say something very sensible, but knew not how.” 

Well, pretty much the perfect description of finals.  Wishing to say/ come up with the right answer, but failing  to.  I have never been a good test taker, and finals probably won't be too great.  I have put some good time into studying, but I fear the results won't be the B grades I need. 

My life has been topsy-turvy the last couple of days.  So many opportunities and so much time.  How do I prove to the guy upstairs I want to do what he wants when he gives me so many different choices to make?  Hard to say.  I guess that is what prayer is for.

It snowed today.  I couldn't be happier!

  Since this is a part journal I might as well share my thoughts on something from the past or the present, so the future can more adequately grasp me when I was young (ah the thought of being old is so far away!)  So here it goes... memory #497:

My maternal Grandmother and Grandfather are some of my favorite people in the whole wide world.  I have so many positive happy memories of both of them.  Grandma making me tuna fish sandwiches while me and Ryan watched Dragon Ball Z on the edge of the carpet, quilting-endlessly, and running around town in the old car to get groceries.  My favorite memory was playing solitaire and Taipei with her for hours, teaching me all the techniques and tricks.  We would play for hours.   Grandpa is/was always a cusser and I always remember Mom saying to NEVER repeat what he said, but I can't recall too many memories without a word or two involved.... Whether it be watching the news with the volume as loud as it could go, or going to Neals to work on the bleepidy-bleap car, Grandpa was always entertaing. Both of them gave everything they had to us, and even though they weren't perfect they were major factors in making my childhood wonderful.  I love them so much, and I cherish this time with them.  I am so excited to be sealed to them, and I cannot believe how ungrateful I have been to them.  They have made me me and I couldn't be more appreciative for giving me an outlook on hard work, and love above all!  LOVE YOU GUYS!

“The distance is nothing when one has a motive.” Elizabeth Bennett

Finals are coming up this week... and I am luckily standing on the beach instead of drowning in the ocean!  Life is pretty good, I haven't blogged in a while because I don't have much else to talk about besides school, work, and maybe my cooking experiences (it's getting better, but its a slow progression, but the point is... its getting better).

Today I wore a good friends wedding ring for an hour or so. It was like heaven, except without the pain of a man.  Hahahaha! Just kidding.  I wonder what it is going to be like, you know-- getting hitched.  I have so many questions about everything, but one question is bigger than them all, "Is he living worthily?"

Such a good question.  I pray he is.  I wonder how I would live my life if I constantly thought about living worthy for my future spouse on a daily basis.... What decisions would I make?  Would I be more friendly?  I hope all these things for my future person, and even for my kids.  Most of all I want to be my best every day.

Lately I have had a lot of questions in my life. I know the Lord is there, but some days it is still hard to live and or function all the while taking steps in the dark.  But that's ok... because the Lord knows whats best for me!  I need to accept that and be the person I know I can be.  My motive is more, an eternal home, an especially exhalation.  "The distance is nothing when one has a motive."  So true. So true :)