"I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty women can bestow."

I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. I have been discovering myself all over again and the idea is quite pleasant. I actually like myself! Life is busy and full- just the way I like it. I have been trying to balance all of my time between work and school and it has been going fairly well.

I have discovered the poet T.S. Elliot. His writing is like a sun in a dark room- it is enchanting. Even though he was just a normal person his writing takes me places I dare not try to describe. It takes me on a whirlwind of ideas- too complex to write in a simple blog post.

In other news I had somewhat of a car scare- finding out I had no brakes. I was suspicious at first, but for now I think we are just going to say it is an accident- the car is old, and whatever coincidences that lend themselves to the situation are just that-coincidences. On Sunday, for Mother's Day, we went to Grandma Bates house. Some of us got food poisoning. I was one of those casualties. I think my roommates think I am bulimic, due to not being able to keep food down for the last month. I guess I am finally at my completely ideal weight-so thats a plus, although baggy clothes aren't too flattering..

I have started finalizing my future plans, I love having plans. Everyday I wake up and rejoice that I have the chance to love me- everyone else is just a whimsical fancy against my awakening odds. If only they knew what they were missing over here. HA! (Please read my sarcasm in the thickest way possible). My new calling is wonderful and I am so grateful to serve in the Lord's church.

And you are never to stir out of doors till you can prove that you have spent ten minutes of every day in a rational manner.”

Life has been so good lately.  I have managed to make myself so busy and justify it in the most wonderful manner.  Being busy is such a rational function.  I have been really busy with organ and my callings.  We are having an opening social on Saturday and there is a lot to do to prepare.  On Sunday I am almost running sacrament meeting-or so it feels. I am playing organ, doing a musical number, AND talking in church.  It doesn't get much better than that!  

Work has been going great.  I am constantly going and making money and I love that, who doesn't?  I trained a new girl at Porters last night, before I went to see the Great Gatsby with my parents.  The movie was really good, but it was a little odd.   I still liked it.  Bob asked me to pick up a couple of shifts later on this month and I told him I could do it.    The more money I make this summer the better my life will be in the fall and winter.

I have been looking into traveling opportunites lately both academically and a "I need to take a break now"ally.  I think I might do an internship next summer but we will see.  I don't know if I will do it through BYU.  I am still looking at every possible opportunity.

My best friend- Marcie, left on her mission Wednesday.  I already miss her.  I know it isn't a permanent goodbye, but it still is a little sad.  But life goes on. I know that is where she is suppose to be.

“In nine cases out of ten a woman had better show more affection than she feels.”

Connection... connecting.. you know, the act of feeling at one with other people?  Ya.  I am missing that.  I don't know when I first noticed it was missing, or when exactly I came to the realization.  Maybe it was due to the fact I failed to be able to make any conversation with other people, it seems that wonderful ability I previously held has left me- I pray temporarily.   The art really isn't too complicated is it?  You ask questions, endless questions... people love to talk about themselves and that is always the best way to go, but yet, I find myself lacking the ability or want to inquire best a hello.  I just don't have anything to say~ but I do want to make friends. So maybe I just need to give it my all... more more more!  So grateful for this Sunday.  In other news- I have meant to post this song forever, so here it is.  I love the beat- best beat EVA!

“No- I cannot talk of books in a ballroom; my head is always full of something else.”

My head truly is full these days.  Life it seems, is in a constant state of change and I am trying to do everything in my power to stay caught up.  My best friend leaves soon, and I must confess I am sad to see her go.  But this is life isn't it?  We grow, we learn, we fail, we succeed etc. etc. and somehow in the midst of everything we determine ourselves to be okay.  I am doing okay.  I wake up every morning and try to pack as much academia and other desires (which have previously been deemed acceptable) into my day.  As of late I practice organ for two to three hours, jam a couple of hours of work in there, and attend class.  Boring- I know, but yet I feel slightly intrigued with my current status of life.  It is simple yet flawlessly classy in a way.  It describes me in a few sentences. 

Worry has seemed to encapsulate me however, and everything under the sun has seemed to invade my line of defenses.  BREATHE!  Grad school and timetables among everything have seemed to plague me, and I find it to be completely exhausting and ridiculous.

In other news, I have yet to find an acceptable third job, so it seems I shall continue the lackluster search for a couple more days, months, years.... I had the most interesting and yet terrible encounter over FB, which was odd indeed.  Thus, the quote I love this week, Every adversity every failure, every heartache carries with it the see on an equal or greater benefit."  Napoleon Hill